I was a difficult child to raise. Maybe it is easy for me to admit now because karma has come to bite me in the ass. Whatever.
Even before karma decided to pay me back I knew the truth. I own who I was. Rebellious and misunderstood. I am not going to place blame. Parents are people and we all make mistakes. Honestly we can only do what we think is the best thing to do at the time.
Sometimes we screw up. Sometimes we see that and sometimes we never do.
I had to make adult choices way before I was ready to. The one thing that I am sure of in my heart is that I had the best intentions.
It may be easy for someone to judge the choices I have made but until you are faced with a similar decision you cannot possibly relate. Even if you did have the same choices to make; you didn't really. Everyone's life is unique because we are all unique.
Mothers are expected to be perfect. Guess what kids, we aren't. Not to sound like a wise old woman but until you are faced with raising your own kids you just can't get it. You don't understand. You can't.
From the moment I first found out that a life was growing inside of me, one that I alone would be responsible for, my life changed. That was more than 30 years ago. Fear was the biggest emotion I felt. I was alone and had no idea what was going to happen to me or the baby that was growing inside of me.
Many thoughts went through my head but all I was sure of was that I was going to become a mother. I had no idea how my teenage life would change. I had no clue what the future held for me.
Looking back now, I remember how it felt. I was scared. Although several of my friends became teen moms I never thought it could happen to me. Again, I lacked the maturity and recklessness was a way of life.
Although I had to grow up quickly and sometimes felt lost along the way, I wouldn't change a thing.
I was blessed with a beautiful daughter and although she cannot understand the reality of the sacrifices that I have made for her (and her siblings) along the way, it is okay. She may never understand it all.
That is until she becomes a mother herself. Until then, the blame for everything that has gone wrong in her life will be my fault.
Sometimes mothers are the targets for their young adult children's own failings.
One day she will own up to her own responsibility for what she doesn't like about her life. And when she is ready...she knows where I will be.
Even before karma decided to pay me back I knew the truth. I own who I was. Rebellious and misunderstood. I am not going to place blame. Parents are people and we all make mistakes. Honestly we can only do what we think is the best thing to do at the time.
Sometimes we screw up. Sometimes we see that and sometimes we never do.
I had to make adult choices way before I was ready to. The one thing that I am sure of in my heart is that I had the best intentions.
It may be easy for someone to judge the choices I have made but until you are faced with a similar decision you cannot possibly relate. Even if you did have the same choices to make; you didn't really. Everyone's life is unique because we are all unique.
Mothers are expected to be perfect. Guess what kids, we aren't. Not to sound like a wise old woman but until you are faced with raising your own kids you just can't get it. You don't understand. You can't.
From the moment I first found out that a life was growing inside of me, one that I alone would be responsible for, my life changed. That was more than 30 years ago. Fear was the biggest emotion I felt. I was alone and had no idea what was going to happen to me or the baby that was growing inside of me.
Many thoughts went through my head but all I was sure of was that I was going to become a mother. I had no idea how my teenage life would change. I had no clue what the future held for me.
Looking back now, I remember how it felt. I was scared. Although several of my friends became teen moms I never thought it could happen to me. Again, I lacked the maturity and recklessness was a way of life.
Although I had to grow up quickly and sometimes felt lost along the way, I wouldn't change a thing.
I was blessed with a beautiful daughter and although she cannot understand the reality of the sacrifices that I have made for her (and her siblings) along the way, it is okay. She may never understand it all.
That is until she becomes a mother herself. Until then, the blame for everything that has gone wrong in her life will be my fault.
Sometimes mothers are the targets for their young adult children's own failings.
One day she will own up to her own responsibility for what she doesn't like about her life. And when she is ready...she knows where I will be.
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